How to make friends and impress people!

This was from 6 Years ago, but FaceBook won’t let me share it because it was one of those “Notes” that isn’t an option any more.
How to make friends and impress people!
It was 5 minutes until the bell , I was sitting in our rather large pick up, talking to my sister on the phone while Keira was in the back of the truck doing who knows what!And I say to my sister “I‘m sure I‘ll impress all the other mommies today with my nose flaking skin everywhere thanks to my head cold and my 3 year old who literally rolled in the dirt before we left the house.”
The bell rang and I hung up with my sister, I pulled the key out of the ignition and low and behold the IGNITION CAME WITH IT!! There I was holding the key with a big ignition thing on it. I tried to put it back in, but there wasn’t time. I grabbed the wee one, jumped out of the truck, ran around to the front to find my oldest daughter standing beside the passenger side door sobbing!
“Do you want to know WHY I‘m crying” she yelled at me.“Well, no hon. I need to call your father to see what I should do about the thing hanging off my truck key” Because as you may not know, the PTA is a pain in the ars and they have a fifteen thousand, four hundred and twenty-five rules when it comes to parking in “the loop” and one of those rules is that you can’t go around the other cars parked in “the loop” and at this point I’m the FIRST PERSON in the loop and no one can move because they have put double cones in the loop making it 1 lane! And the penalty for moving said cones? No one really knows, but it’s been rumored that they’ll chop off your hand!
So as I’m calling my husband, my 6 year old has ignored the fact that I told her I’m calling her father and is whining about a purple doll she doesn’t want to share. And as I’m leaving a message for my husband, my daughters teacher walked up behind me and starts talking about why Riley is crying, which I could have guessed why she was crying long before even Riley opened her mouth – she doesn’t want to share and she wants everything her way and she doesn’t understand why everyone doesn’t see it her way!
As I’m talking to the teacher, who by the way is about the same height as I, I realize that I have to move the cones and get people around me because the traffic is now backing up into the street. The conversation with the teacher continues OVER THE BED OF OUR HUGE TRUCK which neither of us can really see over as I move the cones and start waving people around me with the key which still has the ignition switch thingy still attached!!!!
Finally the teacher finish explaining what I already knew and I call my husband back – he answers and the conversation goes as follows:
Me: Honey, I pulled the key out of the ignition and……
Hubby: Yes, I know you have to be careful or it comes out.
(My MIND: I‘VE BEEN DRIVING THIS TRUCK FOR 3 WEEKS AND YOU‘RE ONLY TELLING ME THIS NOW!!)
Me: It’s out, what do I do?
Hubby: Put it back in.
(My MIND: HAVE I EVER GIVEN YOU REASON TO BELIEVE I‘D HAVE ANY CLUE HOW DO TO THAT!!?!?!?!?)
Me: I can’t get it back in.
Hubby: (his joking voice) Well, looks like you’re walking home.
First thing that went through my mind: KEIRA IS WEARING PANTIES FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!!!!
And here I worried about the impression I was going to make on all the other mommies because I had flaking skin hanging from my nose and my daughter was covered in dirt!