Clients From Hell The conversation was extremely pleasant…

Clients From Hell!
The conversation was extremely pleasant up until I said this:
Me (Phone Support): I see the problem Sir. This is an easy fix, you have the device plugged into the printer port, you need to plug it into the Com Port using the cable provided and then we can test it.
Client yelling: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! This is absurd. Give me ONE GOOD REASON, JUST ONE, WHY I CAN’T PLUG THIS INTO THE PRINTER PORT!?!?!
Me (Phone Support): It’s not a printer.
Client Yelling continued.
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Me (Phone Support): Sir, I can help you with that. You need to remove cable A from slot B and put the cable in slot A. Then do the same with cable B. And you’ll be all set. If you can do this now, I’ll test it.
Client: Loud Sigh. I can’t do that. People kept tripping over the cables so I Super Glued them into the machine. Do you think that will void my warranty?
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Client: The machine is broken, but before we return it can you tell me how to get the quarters out of it.
Me (Phone Support): The Quarters Sir?
Client: Yes, we have the “Pay Per Page” machine.
Me (Phone Support): Sir, we don’t make a “Pay Per Page” machine.
Client: Then what is this slot for in the top?
Me (Phone Support): Your finger. That’s how you open the machine.
Client: So the machine isn’t broken?
Me (Phone Support): That can only be determined after you remove the spare change from your machine.
Client (chuckles softly): That kinda brings us full circle, doesn’t it?