Category: Status

As I’m cleaning the girls room tonight, Keira keeps coming in and dumping her toys out and standing everything upside down and bringing stuff in.
Me: Mama is trying to clean.
Keira: Os-ick-al! Os-ick-al!
Me: We don’t have Popsicles
Keira (With a Big ‘ol Smile): Os-ick-al Course!
(Optical Course!)

Today, Treasure’s teacher wrote a note that read “No Eating Play Doh” and taped it to the table. Treas took one finger and covered the word “No” and another to cover the “ing” Then read “Eat Play Duh” This kid knows exactly what she’s doing – she’s just making us jump through hoops!

Can’t remember if I’ve posted this before or not, but it needs to be included – This is Keira BEFORE starting Reach School
Decoding Keira.
(This started as something funny I wrote to help friends and family understand our little Treasure, it turned into a rather helpful handout.)
I explain Keira like this: Keira can say the words “I want a cookie”, she can read the words “I want a cookie”, she can sign “I want a cookie”, she can spell the sentence “I want a cookie”, she can even write the sentence “I want a cookie” using a capital I and a period at the end.
However if she actually wants a cookie, she will grab my finger and drag me to the cabinet where we have our treats and just scream.
People tell me “Don’t give her what she wants and she’ll learn to speak”. The problem is, I don’t know what she wants, many times she goes without what she wants – if that theory held water she’d be communicating with us. There seems to be something in her head that doesn’t allow her to tell us what she wants or ask questions like normal 3 year olds.
If I go through everything in the cabinet saying “Do you want M&M’s? Do you want Crackers?” and so on, if we get to the cookies and that is in fact what she wants, something won’t allow her to say “YES”. Keira will scream and reach of them.
If I say “Keira, you have already had enough cookies today, how about an apple?” The tantrum stops and she will go for the apple. She’s not having a tantrum because she wants a cookie and she’s not getting it, she’s having the tantrum because she can’t communicate.
A small sample of questions I’ve answered for doctors and therapists and on forms I’ve made out a hundred times.
Q: Does Keira stare off into the distance and become unresponsive?
A: Only in her “Planning Stage”.
Q: Does she understand the word No?
A: I don’t know it’s never worked. Oh no correction, she understands NO when she screams it at me.
Q: Is your child shy?
A: That would be a nice change.
Q: Does she have anxiety attacks in large groups of people?
A: No, she causes anxiety in large groups of people. To Keira a large group of people is an adrenalin rush.
Q: Does she communicate effectively?
A: Only when she doesn’t want to do something.
Q: How does she do when you deviate from the normal routine?
A: Our routine or hers?
Q: Does she participate in dangerous behavior?
A: Only up until she realizes it’s going to hurt.
Q: Does she watch more than 2 hours of TV a day?
A: I WISH!!!
Q: When Keira watches TV what does she watch?
A: The title sequence. Possibly up to the first 5 minutes if she’s jumping on the trampoline.
Q: What is the first indication that Keira is about to have a tantrum.
A: She screams YAY!! Which in Keira speak is interpreted as “FIGURE OUT WHAT I WANT NOW OR THE SCREAMING IS JUST GOING TO GET WORSE!!!”
Q: Does your child engage in eye contact?
A: Only when attempting a mind-meld.
Q: Do you feel your child understands you?
A: When it involves food.
Q: Does your child nap? If not, please indicate at what age they discontinued this activity.
A: Pre conception is never an option.
Q: Is your child potty trained?
A: Only at home where she has access to the potty, since she can’t say “I want to use the potty” or even the word “potty” when she needs to go. But can read, say and sign both when written.
Q: Other than tantrums how does your child protest?
A: If she’s really angry she’ll walk into the middle of the living room pull off her Pull Up and pee on the floor, then jump in it like it’s a rain puddle.
Q: Does Keira have any special abilities?
A: Yes, she can Sign, Read, Spell, Count to 20, Count backwards from 10. She is teaching herself to write letters/words/numbers and basic addition skills. But she can’t say “I want a Cookie” when she wants one.
Q: What words best describe your child?
A: Willful. Sweet. Rebel. Brilliant.
Q: Can your child speak?
A: She has an unbelievably large vocabulary – she describes everything.
Q: In regards to your child, what other behavior are you worried about.
A: That she must chew everything.
Keira doesn’t talk to us like other 3 year olds.
I would love it if she understood the need to “stay with mommy”
Q: What are some activities your child enjoys?
A: Running, jumping, climbing, dancing, breaking things open to see what’s inside, exploring and snuggling on the couch with Mommy and Daddy with her doodle boards.
Q: What are some activities your child does not participate in?
A: Sitting still.
Q: How has your child’s behavior impacted your life?
A: I now have a much larger bladder.
Keira has been a non-conformist since before birth deciding the best decent was butt first and early. She has never felt the need to sleep and the more activity she receives the less likely she is to sleep through the night.

The problem with having an Autistic child, isn’t the child, it’s the people who think they KNOW Your child.
Everyone KNOW’s someone who’s autistic, a friends child or they have a niece or a nephew with autism so that makes them an authority.
(Or a child therapist – we‘ve come to realize, that they know nothing.)
And because they know 1 or maybe 2 children with autism they know exactly how to handle Your child.
It becomes worse when a family member can’t handle the diagnoses and they tell people things like “She‘s coming right out of it. She‘s fine.”
Because if You’re the one who looks after that child the most, it makes you look like you have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s a constant battle trying to protect your child and be pleasant to people at the same time.
My favorite is when people THINK they know my child enough to watch her. Of course I’m just being over protective or stubborn when I tell people “We don‘t let anyone watch her.” Because, of course, the child you know with autism has to be EXACTLY LIKE MINE and that other child is easy to take care of.
Then you get those who say “Oh I‘m not saying its easy” As if I’m stupid.
I’d love to say “You know NOTHING about my child, but you‘re going to stand here and disregard what I have to say, because you‘ve spent 10 minute with her here and there and you listen to someone who‘s in denial so you must have all the answers.”
The thing is, I can’t say “If you can‘t lift her right now, what are you going to do when she‘s slamming her head against the floor?” (She‘s about 40lbs)
OR “If you can’t run, how are you going to catch her when she gets out the back door?” (She‘s faster than a panther)
My absolute FAVORITE comment came from my very best friend after she watched Keira for 30 minutes. I walked through the door and an Exasperated Woman stood there and said “HOW DO YOU DO THIS EVERYDAY!?!”
(Keep in mind my BFF is the oldest of 8 children, has an Aspie’s brother and her husband works with Autistic children, so she knows what she’s getting into.)
It’s my very favorite comment because it made me feel completely justified. I’m right. And Charity never misses a chance to tell me I’m right.
Thank you Charity.

See Tim move. See Tim move fast!